http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/mar/1715567123.html

"Professional with Successful Track-record Wanted: We are looking to speak to you if you’re seeking to earn a realistic six-figure income. Winners only need apply. A newly established company associated with a high-profile, billion dollar plus, global brand is seeking a self-starter who is entrepreneurial and coachable wanting to make money in Internet Marketing.
You must:

• Be able to work independently and as part of a team
• Be an effective and motivated communicator
• Enjoy working from home
• Have a strong work ethic (full-time or part-time)
• Have a strong interest in Social Media and Internet Marketing (a must!)

You will have daily access and support from successful six and seven figure earners. You will be provided with the coaching, support, materials, direction and a proven system that enables immediate income.

You will never have to: 

• Recruit friends and family
• Develop warm markets
• Buy additional training materials, tapes or books
• Sponsor hotel meetings
• Inventory any products

No Gimmicks; No Commute; No Experience Required

Want to earn what you have dreamed of earning…for an interview respond to this ad with your Full Name; Contact Phone #, Best Time to Be Reached and Email Address"

*******


GOOD MORNING!

I'm sure you know, like I do, that when you're a real winner, it's hard to know where to apply yourself. Winners don't need to commute to some job with some boss who tells you when you can have a cup of coffee or even stretch your legs for GOSH SAKES. Heck No!

Winners need a system. A proven system without gimmicks or Flim/Flam. I know that Real winners need other winners to give them a *proven system* to take their **dreams** and make them ***reality***. The kind of system that high-profile global brands use. Like Nike, or Gatorade. 

I've always known I was a winner. The kind of person who makes the big money someday, who earns respect from his peers and family-members. I read your post, and I KNEW THAT DAY HAD COME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am an 1. Effective and motivated communicator. 2. Able to work independently or part of a team** 3.Have a strong work-ethic for winning. 3.HAVE A STRONG INTEREST IN SOCIAL MEDIA*** 4. I am coachable by seven-figure earners.

**Except on a team with losers.
*** I met my girlfriend, who lives in CANADA on a social media, which proves my interests are GLOBAL, as I do not live in Canada at this time.

I have tried to recruit my family before, but was unsuccessful. I do not have much in the way inventory, so I am glad these things are not part of the system.

I will be very happy to learn your system and begin earning a reliable six-figure income like I have always dreamed of. Please call me. I am home most days, and available to answer my phone. Except when I am briefly away from my phone to 1. eat or 2. go to the restroom, but I have an answering machine in those cases, so I would call you back should you happen to call me then, so it isn't a problem. 

BEST REGARDS,

http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/fbh/1715546390.html

"Neeed Shot girls.... get $$ to party (NYC): Make good money and be the life of the party!!!...Promo company is looking for the perfect shot girl to heat up Manhattan nites!!!.

Job responsibilities:
- Keep track of shots sold and money
- Have fun, flirt and sell shots (shake what your mama gave ya'!!!)
- Be responsible with your schedule

Shot girls who have the most fun and make the most money are:
- Outgoing and sexy
- persistent and strong willed
- adaptable to different bar environments (beach nite means wearing a bikini, holiday party means wearing holiday outfit)
- fun and personable
- those who can become part of the party responsibly keeping in mind making money

Benefits:
- lucrative part time job
- Extra cash on weekends or for students
- Flexible schedule
- Gain valuable sales experience in varied environments
-
...Shifts are from 6pm-12am and 9:30pm-10:30pm until 4am (or until all shots are sold – bottoms up guys!!!)
The shot girls make a percentage of the shots they sell in
addition to their tips. Average earning is $100-300 per shift.

To Apply:

Only responsible, self-motivated candidates need apply. Email resume, recent clear pictures (at least 2: one showing face, another showing full body) and contact info.
Digital pictures must be in jpeg format.
Please include a few lines about yourself.
Interviews are Friday 1-3pm DO NO APPLY UNLESS YOU ARE OVER 21 YEARS OLD!!!! "

*******

Dear Sir:

I was really excited to read your post. It's been really hard to find work around here, since I only moved to town a few months ago. I don't have much work experience, so it's been hard to stand out from the crowd, but my mom always said that it's the things we think make us weird that really make us special, and this really proves it!

Should I tell you how it happened? It was an accident, really, and I forgive Glenn. We'd both had a couple of beers, and besides, we'd played around with his air rifle lots of times. Normally, I wouldn't talk about drinking in a job interview-type situation like this letter, but you said you're looking for girls who like to party ;). Anyway, he set up the cans first, like always, and I hit one pretty good. Then, when I went to set it back up for him, his finger must have slipped. It sure did hurt! The hospital was scary, but Glenn held my hand while they put in the stitches. I had to sleep on my other side for two weeks!!!! LOL!

Anyways, I attached a couple of pictures, like you asked. The ones where I'm in my bikini show the scar the best. I used to think it was ugly, but mom said that it's just like a smile that's not on my face.

One problem is that I won't be 21 until June 5th. Would that be ok?

Best,
...

http://newyork.craigslist.org/brx/edu/1716701782.html

"Literacy Coach... We are looking for dynamic, results-oriented and relentless urban educators to join our growing movement as a Literacy Coach.

Join our movement... Develop strong character...
... implement the A.C.T.I.O.N values in their schools to hold scholars to the highest behavioral expectations and give teachers a common language around developing strong character.

A.C.T.I.O.N. stands for Agency, Curiosity, Try and Try, Integrity, Others and No Shortcuts."

*******

To Whom it May Concern:

I am a relentless urban educator, with particular expertise in the PHYSICIANHEALYOURSELF system of literary coaching.

P.H.Y.S.I.C.I.A.N.H.E.A.L.Y.O.U.R.S.E.L.F. stands for Please Help Your Students In Constructing Intelligent Acronyms, Noting How Each Addition Leaves Your Observant, Understanding Readers Satisfied, Every Letter Fitting.

Best,

http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/wri/1713220192.html

"SEEKING A LITERARY ORGANIZER to sort through, cull, and retype a filing cabinet of writings; then help me decide what should be sent to editors and agents, and what should be dumped.

The goal is to evaluate my writing, put stuff on blogs, sends some to publishers, and prepare for disposition of manuscripts and books and copyrights.

Works include:
-6 published books and a play/CD
-plays: 3 full-length, 2 short
-2 memoirs
-essays, some published in the NY Times, etc.
-a novel
-a few short stories
-two children’s books
-a unique cookbook
-assorted lyrics, verse, etc.
-songs

A LITERARY ORGANIZER must have experience in editing, marketing literary work, using the web, posting to blogs, and must live in the area (NYC).

Will pay $500 for the first 40 hours of work.

Please fill out and return the questions below if you are interested.
DO NOT SEND ATTACHMENTS OR RESUME.

Name.....................................
E-mail....................................
Tel..........................................
Neighborhood.........................................
College Attended....................................
Major......................................
Date of graduation......................................
Current employment...................................
Favorite composer.......................................
Your blog and blogs you visit....................................................

DO NOT SEND ATTACHMENTS."

*******

Hello,

You know what's the first word that came to mind when I found this? Synergy!
What a fantastic information feedback loop we could create if, the next time you post this, I were able to submit this very blog as my proof of new-media expertise!

I hope you don't have to post again, though. I hope your new short children's play/memoir/song cycle/cookbook in verse is the toast of the blogosphere and makes all of your literary dreams come true, as well as the dreams of your new-found amanuensis.

Unfortunately, I have some unshakable concerns about this position that will not allow me to be that person; the one who is standing beside you as you ascend to the lofty heights of internet publishing sensation. Chief among them: what would happen to my salary after the first 40 hours? I fancy myself a fast reader, but I'm not sure I could get through a thorough perusal of seven books, five plays, two memoirs, and a cookbook in five days time, let alone the box of essays, and song lyrics and the culling and evaluation that is the desired end of it all.

And really, who am I to evaluate your work, anyway? Follow your muse where it leads you. Don't cast the pearls of your life's work in front of some swine-for-hire you dug up the inter-slop. You've been published in the New York Times, right? I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt that you're not talking about letters to the editor. Hell, even if you are padding the resume a bit, If you have the gumption to write seven books, five plays, two memoirs, and a cookbook - and believe me, not many people do - then you can attack that pile of oyster shells and find the pearl that deserves to be shined and mounted in platinum. The one that the world is waiting to read.

I'd be interested to read it, when you're done.

"Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it." -Goethe

Best Regards,

http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/mar/1715626417.html

"Marketing Position: Experience the highs and lows of how a start up functions and grows. We are offering a position that will provide exposure to all facets of running a successful business, and is focused on: marketing, operations and customer service. We are exploring going national and will be looking at different business models to achieve this goal. We promise an experience rich position that will expose you to how a business is created.
We are a new company that was started in New York City. We bring an incredible service to new families. We are looking for high-achievers who want to learn new skills, work with a seasoned team, and contribute in a major way to the success of a start up organization.
This position could start as soon as possible if the candidate is willing. We are offering an hourly rate or weekly rate for the right candidate.
The individual we are seeking must be able to
- Be able to communicate professionally in writing, on the phone, and in person
- Be eager to learn how growing companies operate
- Be willing to get their hands dirty and think strategically
- Demonstrate a desire to challenge themselves and take on significant responsibility
- Be able to work with all types of people and bring a sense of humor to their work
The ideal candidate would also:
- Possess strong computer skills (including Microsoft Word, Excel, etc) 
- Understand photography (a plus, not necessary) 

- Eager to learn about marketing and operations of a start up.
- Comfortable doing business development to help us grow the business."

*******


To Whom it May Concern:

I am writing to apply for your open position, as posted on the web. I am certain I could be a noteworthy member your organization, as I have performed well in many situations where I was called upon to perform tasks at times in the past.

In my most recent role, I worked with many people both in and out of our offices, and always impressed my co-worked and clients with my knowledge of the many services we provided. I have many customer service skills, and have often been noticed by my supervisors for my demeanor in situations in which I was called upon to represent our company at meetings with those with whom we had dealings.

Previously, I had held other positions in which my responsibilities were varied. I was also called upon to operate several different pieces of equipment, such as computers, and always did so. I have also owned and operated a camera, and understood how to do so.

I attended an accredited university, from which I graduated in a related field, with additional concentrations in subjects that show my personal depth and diversity of interests. While there I achieved a number of academic citations, and participated in athletics and other extra-curricular activities. I have always interacted with people in a varied array of social and professional situations, and I consider myself a self-starter.

I was excited to read about this opening, as I've been looking to move into a new position which would allow me to experience the many facets of marketing, operations, and customer service, and learn how growing companies operate, and I certainly have a desire to challenge myself and take on significant responsibility.

Additional documents showing my many qualities may be made available to those who might like to see them. If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to call.


Regards,